the suicide scrooge

the abyss is a bad place to look.
there's nothing down there, but more and more nothing.
you can be surrounded by a PS3, a decent sofa,
one or two good friends, an interest in stamps,
and a few movies to watch,
but for whatever the reason or non reason,
the highway can suddenly stop,
some sort of faulty construction blue print
and all that remains
are those wires and coils angling towards the sky.

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i will say this about ryan freel.
he had guts as a player, pete rose guts

and without glorifying suicide,
it does take guts coupled with volumes of suffering
to actually do the deed and not just talk about it.

but some suicides are just plain awful conclusions
to lives filled with all kinds of suffering.
i think of former milwaukee brewer dan thomas
who admitted that he could never handle success
and took to drinking and pills as a player.
he didn't last too long in the majors....2 seasons
and then he got accused of raping a 12 year old girl.
who knows if he was guilty,

but he went to jail which is where he hung himself.

there's been plenty of suicides in the baseball family.
here is a partial list from the dead ball era website.

which probably hasn't been updated
because hideki irabu is not listed as a 2011 hanging.

the loss of freel a big bummer to everyone
and a reminder that who really knows what's going on inside someone.
i like the idea of inviting a down and out stranger for a beer or three.

de-liriano-eees

i'm happy for the pirates.
because i too slammed my head against many walls,
more of a soft core equivalent to james brown,
no pimping for me,
but i made my share of false identity detours.

i dig honus wagner
and the world series pirate crowns
before the yankees even existed,
but that's all scratchy news reel stuff to me.

but i do remember barry bonds hanging his head
in color tv memory
after sid bream scored
and then barry leaving pittsburgh
and then the pirates becoming steve blass syndrome.

is liriano really worth it?
when is enough enough?
how many more one last chances?

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where will shawn marcum pitch next year?
are the brewers still bitter because he conked out at the end of the 2011 season?
who cares!
sign the marcum for half as much as liriano signed with the pirates
marcum's career numbers blow liriano away.

gorzelanny

panning through salvation army piles is an ode.
i see kids around the flag pole,
playing east west war.

one kid braves the mobile assault and
dares his tongue against the metal.
none of them care about the polyester symbol waving free up above and neither do i.

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the brewers signed tom gorzelanny yesterday to a two-year contract.
The news didn't make it to mlb.com's top 7 stories
which is rare because news in the winter is usually sparse,
but apparently aj pyrzinski signing with texas is bigger news,
but anyway who cares!

it is the biggest signing for the Brewer's this off season in terms of money and filling a need.
The Brewer's bullpen was bad last season and the starting rotation
after gallardo and probably fiers and estrada is still very much up for grabs.
 gorzellany is a rare 30 year old lefty not because he's 30 or lefty
but because he can start and relieve and be pretty good at both.

melvin didn't buy into the hype and panic and pay double digit millions for old pitchers.
he refused to sign them to 3 year contracts. been there, done that with suppan and wolfe.
so there are no christmas candies for hungry brewer's fans this year.
the team is going with what it's got and i like it.

milestone

we didn't run on the field in 1982
but we jumped butt naked into lake michigan
on easter sunday 1987
and we didn't know it at the time,
but we kinda baptized ourselves
as brewer fans for the rest of our lives.

i still smell the alewives.

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loyalty in baseball is far from dead.
yeh sure, some players move on to the highest bidder
or closer to home
or wanting to win a championship,
but some players sign long contracts with one team,
really long.

i don't know who started it.
maybe ryan braun or maybe it was troy tulowitzki.
i guess they like dropping anchor and avoiding  all that shop around contract hassle.
if they got families, they can buy a house and sign up the kiddies for school.
either way, players make a really good chunk of change,
but there must be something else going on like some sort of old loyalty.
braun must really want to win in milwaukee. i guess that's kind of obvious.

braun will be the brewers all time home run hitter soon.
he's 49 away from robin yount's 251.

under the mound

don sutton crowned 1982's second half
as the best baseball time of his life
and he pitched with some good ones...
koufax, drysdale, tommy john, charlie hough
and then with nolan ryan as an astro in 1981.

but it was the trade the following year to milwaukee

that sticks with the hall of famer.

who can blame him?
i don't think the party in 82 ended until 1984
and the brewers didn't even win the world series.

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there's a fan whose name i don't remember.
he was there in 82
and is still there today.
he wears dark rimmed glasses and looks a heck of a lot like cal tjader.
he told me about vuke,
sleeping off a drunk in the bullpen
and waking up to the sound of his name,
"and now today's starting pitchers."

vuke probably tucked his shirt in during the long walk out to the mound
and started up his smoke and mirror "hargrove rain delay" psych out.

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i don't know what's become of axford's mustache,
but man oh man is he ever easy to like.
as a matter of fact,
i can't think of anything more amazing than a spring training invite to a canadian
and the wash up making the opening day roster
and then performing beyond any scout's or statistician's recommended expertise.
it's an absolute revolution to me.

the brewers have a scout stationed in quebec.
his name is JP Roy.
he shows up at the local tryout camps put on by major league baseball.
most major league teams probably have one scout for canada
and rarely one specifically for quebec.
no surprise with the brewers since melvin and ash are both born in ontario.

the brewers currently have 12 canadian born players in their system.
only the blue jays have more.

one of them is from montreal. 

--Philippe Valiquette, Montreal, Que. (0-1, 8.49) double-A Huntsville; 

-- (0-0, 4.00) Single-A Brevard County Manatees.

i like dreaming when it's snowing outside. 

this town of montreal is still made for baseball!
it's got vuke's grit.

cal mclish

names have all kinds of meanings to some people and
none at all to others.
greg luzinski could only be a left fielder
or any position at all,
even a pitcher
until everybody seen luzinski in the flesh playing defense.

then it becomes very clear.
luzinski plays no position at all.
he's getting traded to the american league
and becoming a designated hitter.

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how in the hell did ben oglivie and george foster
hit so many home runs?
they were both toothpick skinny
and so was luis gonzalez for that matter
when he hit those 57 home runs.

i don't like buff baseball players
and crazy brain wilson workout routines.
it's all too efficient and perfect
and so are sabermetrics.

but don't get me wrong.
i like WAR and OPS+ and BABIP.
and study it like a good school boy
so i can communicate with baseball's genius crowd,
a little bit anyway,
but give me some jean segura at 165 pounds.
he still hasn't hit his first mlb home run.
but jean...the mighty gene is gonna hit 10 in 2013,
at least 10.

the only thing  i can say for sure
is that calvin coolidge julius caesar tuskahoma mclish is the full name of former brewer's pithing coach cal mclish
and i love that name.
his father was three quarters choctaw indian.

there's gold in dem hills

i'm not against hot prospects
and don't hesitate to admire
a 10 walking with her curves in full swag mode.
she steps up to the bar rail and twirls her curls
and even the gay men in the back
take notice of her.

she gets fat,
maybe squeezes out a few kids,
but still takes the rail with the same moxy.
i'd buy another round to hear her sing karaoke.

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i guess the brewers were willing to trade brett lawrie
because rickie weeks existed.
weeks was the number 2 overall pick back in 2003.
weeks still holds the highest career batting average in ncaa history.
.473 at southern university.

you can say what you want about "level of competition,"
but southern u. is division 1 and
even if it wasn't.
even if it was whiffel ball united,
.473 is a monster number
because there are always 8 fielders waiting for a batted ball.

weeks slumped for the first half of the 2012 season and then some,
but then he turned it on in the second half and then some.
i'll take my chances with weeks now and forever.