i wanna bee bill james when i grow up

i'd venture to guess that most kids
have the same professional ambitions as pre-6 year olds.
they all wanna be firemen or policemen or baseball players,
at least in north america anyway,
but then somewhere very quickly along the way,
that becomes very uncool,
especially the police men pursuit.

i think it was the fire truck for me.
all that red and swirling siren and noise,
but i'm not gonna deny it.
i could very well have wanted to be a police man.
i'd have to ask my mom
because i'm not one of these people who claim to remember
everything from their childhood.

i don't believe those people anyway.
they strike me as big show offs and sort of pretentious
because many call themselves artists.
what inspires someone to wear an occupation tag on their shirt?

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i didn't draft players in strat-o-matic based on walks or on base percentage.
i went with my favotrite players,
the ones who i watched on tv;
cecil cooper, rob deer, mark clear, ben sheets, yovani gallardo.

hey and sometimes i got lucky,
but anything remotely related to sabermetrics i knew nothing about.
there was kid among our group who knew.
he read the bill james books
and promoted darrel porter and toby harrah
as if they were jesus christ resurrected.
a sabermetrician is a classical guitar player, a chemist, and a poet
all wrapped into one seamhead snob,
but of course they are right most of the time
and i have to go now.
i have metrics to study.